Fingertips
by SuicidalSmile
Summary: Commander Shepard always seemed unattainable, unreachable, just beyond your fingertips; but to her loyal crew she isn't just their Commander she is the embodiment of their ideals, future, hopes and dreams. And she knows it. But does she really know what they feel inside the cages of their own minds? Collection of one shots about the Commander
1. Samara

**A/N: This is my first time writing for the Mass Effect fandom and I'm a little nervous. There is so many good writers for this fan base and I feel a little apprehensive. **

**Please give my fic a chance, it's just some simple one shots on the crews opinions of Shepard. Time periods ranging from ME2 to ME3. **

**Thanks. **

_Samara~_

Shepard moved with a grace Samara had never seen in someone else before. Confident ease and sure footed poise. Her red hair graced her jaw bones, accentuating her jawbones elegantly, bright green eyes framed by dark lashes looked out on the world with pride and calculated admiration. Lately she spent large sums of time thinking about Shepard, more time that she'd like to admit. But to Samara it didn't really matter, time wasn't of the essence. She'd met many people throughout her hundreds of years but never one as _mysterious _as Shepard.

Or was she really that mysterious? At moments it was almost as if you could read Shepard's face like a book, every thought, every _feeling_ etched across the pale, slightly scarred plane. One of these times was during combat. Shepard's determination was never questioned, firm lips and steely eyes were merciless and ruthless yet something in them held extreme sadness and loss.

It was those moments in which Samara wished she could reach out to Shepard, coaxing every pain and festering wound that lay in the wreckage of her past and listen to those secret, unheard words.

But as soon as that vulnerable, precious face was displayed it vanished. Replaced instantly with the cool, impassive diplomatic face of reason and justice.

Samara had her fair share of secrets and she knew she wasn't the only one aboard the Normandy who had a skeleton or two in their closets; it was just _something _about Shepard's secrets that made her curious beyond reason.

What kind of problems could she be facing? What hurt could shine so purely even the galaxies greatest hero would surrender to it's pain? Samara knew it was selfish but sometimes she just wanted Shepard all to herself.

She hadn't had friends, the Code hadn't allowed her to have friends, but now . . . the idea of friendship actually seemed attainable. It was often infuriating, watching her risk her neck for so many people, yet she knew it needed to be done. Quietly Samara wondered if after this _hell _was over if maybe her and the Commander could just sit down and talk. She didn't even care if they were both beaten and bloodied if they could just sit down, in peace and quite and share secrets and stories, she'd be satisfied.

Samara wanted to be the one who Shepard first told her secrets to. Shepard's worries and insecurities, she wanted to be the first to hear such tender information yet she had no idea how to approach this with the Commander.

Samara looked out on the empty, star speckled void of space, allowing her eyes to open. Never in her life had she been this bold, she'd always remained a loyal servant of the Code; never toeing the line of duty and servitude.

Her pale blue orbs scanned the vast emptiness of the endless cosmos and smiled, she was no longer a grunt of the Code. Although she didn't know it yet, Commander Shepard had opened so many doors for her, possibilities before she would have never granted herself.

For so long she'd never even considered the possibility of her happiness, she had been satisfied with living in this hell for the rest of her life, serving and killing. But now, things seemed so much different, she had friends now, team mates who would risk themselves for her and deep down that felt _good. _

So with new purpose, and her proposition for Shepard burning on the tip of her tongue she stood. She wanted to connect with others, share her pain and take the burden of others, and she'd be dammed if she wasn't going to get to know Shepard better before she signed her life away!

Heels clicked down the hall, each step rupturing down the hall like gunfire. Shepard was in the mess, humming under her breath as she waited for her grilled cheese to fry.

"Shepard." Samara called, stopping in front of the counter, heart racing.

Shepard looked over her shoulder, surprise inked across her face, "Samara?"

Samara rolled back her shoulders, preparing herself, "I have a proposition for you."

Shepard turned fully now, giving the beautiful asari her full attention, curvy brows raised, "what is it?"

"If we're to survive this suicide mission I would like to talk with you."

Something flickered across Shepard's green irises, "what would you like to talk about?"

Samara swallowed thickly, "you."

**Please review and let me know if you would like to see more. **

**Thank you. **

**3 Suicidal **


	2. Thane

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_Thane~_

Sometimes he liked to compare Shepard to himself. When he was reserved and thoughtful Shepard was bold and courageous. While he was quite and reserved she was talkative and a scorching ball of energetic light.

That day on top of the Dantius Towers he _knew _she was coming. He didn't know her reasoning or her motivation, he just _knew_ she was coming. He'd never admitted this to anybody, but as he was making his way through the ducts he had paused to watch her. He'd heard rumours of course, and he had heard the stories of her brave conquering of Sovereign _but _she was entirely different in person.

Skin burning with the cobalt flame of her biotics she dominated the battle field, dauntless and sure she mastered the art of finesses and poise, and her companions flanked her with the same confident ease. At first Thane just brushed it off as practice perfection and that Shepard just kept her crew sharp.

But as he worked with her he realized it was entirely different. Although Shepard was practised and had accumulated large experience on the battle field it was her approach of the situations that she was placed in that changed her.

Where a General would come in with the mindset to divide and conquer, Shepard would come in with the instinct to understand and react. It was this that ensured Shepard was never surprised, he'd never seen her falter under her overwhelming command. She expected everything. From rattling betrayal to astounding kindness she was ready and she dealt with the situation with earnest honesty and openness.

Thane envied her. Not in a selfish way though, just in the way he wished he too could have her sharpness and intuitive nature, it would have saved him a lot of pain.

Thinking about it now, when Shepard helped him save Koylat, it almost seemed she knew _his _son better than he did. She had acted so smoothly, but then she countered and gave him a gift with such kindness he wasn't sure if he could ever repay her.

He just hoped his life would cover that debt.

Thane sighed, shifting in his seat, stretching his sore forearms. Even if he _didn't _die on this suicide mission his time was coming close. He could feel his skin tighten, his mind losing it's sharpness, but he didn't really mind anymore.

Koylat had forgiven him and that's more than he could have ever wanted. Now, Thane wasn't a super sentimental Drell but he felt like before he died he had to let Shepard know how much that favour really meant to him.

Silently Thane stood, feeling the need to stretch his tight muscles. Today wasn't the day he would tell Shepard, no, he would wait until the words were perfect and manicured _then _he would tell her. Besides, if he was going to die on this mission he would want his last words to his only _true _Commander be perfect.

Purposefully, Thane strode out of the room, hands locked behind his back. He didn't know why but he felt Joker, as silly as he was, was actually _quite _insightful. Thane's webbed fingers shot out, pressing the elevator button. The door whooshed open, Thane looked up to meet the vibrant green eyes of the Commander.

She blinked for a second then smiled widely, "Thane." She said, nodding in acknowledgement then side-stepped around him strutted down toward the Main battery.

For a moment Thane stood there stunned, she hadn't done anything particularly miraculous he just couldn't help but stare after her. As he mentioned before it was jut the way she carried herself, so open and honest that one couldn't help but stare.

Shaking his head, Thane stepped inside the elevator and felt himself rush upwards, heading toward the second deck. The door opened revealing the busy, energetic crew hustling about, talking in hushed tones, fingers tracing along data pads.

Yeoman Chambers stood at her usual post, muttering something about Jack's numerous tattoos under her breath. Thane stepped out of the elevator and followed the stream of people up to the cockpit, the eyes of many of the crew drilling holes into his back.

Joker sat in his permanent spot, fiddling with something and trying to rub a grease stain out of his shirt at the same time.

For a moment Thane's presence went unnoticed by the pilot, EDI's blue orb floating in the console beside him quietly.

"Joker." Thane said, straightening his shoulder, his ankles clicking together in habit.

Instantly Joker's chair swivelled around, hazel eyes wide under the brim of his baseball cap.

"Thane?!" He blurted, obviously quite surprised to see the Drell out of his usual quarters.

Thane allotted a small polite smile, "hello, would you mind if I asked you a couple questions?"

Joker's mouth twisted, curiosity burning bright in his eyes, "I guess," he responded sheepishly. "Just don't expect any powerful words of wisdom!" He snapped hastily, not accustomed to such a insightful question.

Thane ducked his head, he didn't want words of wisdom, he already had those, he wanted the truth.

"What can you tell me about the Commander and her debts?"

"Debts?" Joker asked confused, scratching his cheek. "Well I don't really know much, but Shepard _does _help a lot of people but she kinda just does it as a given. She never really expects anything in return she just does it because she wants to."

Thane mulled this over, was Joker saying the Commander wanted nothing in return for the kindness she displayed to him?

"Do you think," Thane began, "she would accept words as a equivalent value and my sworn loyalty, to death?"

Joker laughed, eyes crinkling at the corners, "Shepard _doesn't _want your life Thane." He chuckled, those mischievous hazel eyes now suddenly full of depth and intelligence. "She helped you save your son because she knew it meant a lot to you, just like how she helped Miranda save her sister. _All _she wants is your friendship."

Thane froze, dumbstruck at such a truthful, tender answer. Shepard hadn't helped him to get a one up on him, she'd done it because she cared for him and wanted his friendship!

A slow smile of realization crossed Thane's face, "thank you Joker, you've helped me immensely." Thane bowed, turning on his heel, stalking down the catwalk.

The words he had wanted to say to Shepard now fully prepared and ready.

**Hope you guys liked it. **

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**3 Suicidal **


	3. Miranda

**Hey guys sorry this update is freakishly late, I've been super busy with my final exams. I'll probably be updating more frequently now that my tests are over **

_Miranda _

Miranda didn't like trusting people, she never had and she most likely never will, so when Commander Shepard came along bright eyed and determined, kind and courageous she was a little bit taken aback. She had expected the incomparable finesse on the battle field and the sharp minded, quick tongue but she _hadn't _expected the Commander to be so _kind_.

Now she wasn't saying she was a sugar coated, syrup dripping sap of a woman, no, she was more like the rough, scratched and bandaged hands that always catch you when you fall.

Sometimes the Commander would just come down to her quarters just to _chat, _she'd ask Miranda her opinion on things and gently ask about her experiences and hardships. The whole situation made Miranda very uncomfortable, she kept her tongue gauged and cautious. She wasn't completely sure if she even fully trusted the Commander, but then again she never really trusted anyone anyway. For the longest time that's how she thought she liked it, distant, strong and unshakeable but she was quickly learning that it _wasn't _the best thing in the world.

Often times she could hear the Commander and Garrus laughing in the mess, the clink and clatter of plates as they shared a meal, revelling over past missions and joking companionably with one another. She wondered what they would say if she asked to join them. They would probably stare at her, jaws dropped, forks clattering on their plates in shock. The Ice Queen wanted to mingle, what a joke.

But even as Miranda silently mocked herself for even thinking such a thing that lonely twinge in her gut still rang deep and true.

Miranda shifted in her chair, pulling her hands back from her key board, the words on the screen in front of her blurring and jumping. She shook her head tiredly, her whole life _trust _was what had made her weak, the people and friends around her that she loved weak. It had bound her for the longest time in thick red tape, tying her to her father before she couldn't stand it any longer and broke free. Miranda's blue eyes shifted over to the wall connecting to the mess, the familiar chuckle of the Commander wafting through the walls. But with the Commander is seemed _trust _is what made her strong. Her trust in Jack; believing that she wanted nothing more than what Cerberus had on her, completely believing she wouldn't stake claim on top secret information. Her undoubted trust in Mordin, never doubting for a moment that his countermeasure wouldn't work.

She also dedicated herself to helping the people around her in any way she could. When most would see it as an inconvenience, Miranda knew it was those missions exactly that brought such a genuine smile to her face.

Shepard puzzled her, she wasn't what she had imagined her to be and she often found herself being fully surprised at many of the things the Commander did. The Illusive Man had told her next to nothing about the Commander, personality wise, Miranda was obviously quite aware of her accomplishments. Many times during the two years of her rehabilitation she found herself imagining what she would be like when she finally opened her eyes. Would she be tactful and harsh? Ruthless and tough?And out of all the endless amount of effort and thought she put into Shepard's outcome she never imagined the one she'd get.

Miranda smiled to herself wistfully, the rumbling boorish laughter from the mess growing louder, she would not say she was disappointed. In fact, it may sound cliche and stupid, but she wouldn't want Shepard any other way.

A loud clatter of plates from the other room made Miranda jump in her chair, eyes trained on the shared wall. It didn't seem like such a big deal, walking out there and sharing friendly conversation with her fellow crew mates but the thought made a thin line of perspiration break out above her lips. It was silly, but Miranda felt if she went out there it was like she was losing a bit of herself she tried to hard to create. The calculated, hard, cold side of her that she had moulded from her old, softer ways.

Another laugh joined the mix, Jacob's. Sweat prickled at the back of her neck, and suddenly she felt the need to put her hair up into a pony tail.

Without really thinking Miranda stood smoothly, hands clenched purposefully at her sides. With her chin held high and nose forward she _would _walk out there and show everyone she _too _could be likeable and sociable.

Miranda lurched to her door, heart in her mouth, she wasn't sure why she felt like she was walking off a plank into the ocean where hungry sharks snapped at her feet. Her bedroom door whizzed open, silently and efficiently, this went unnoticed for a moment by everyone in the mess.

Miranda peeked around the corner, feeling foolish. It seemed almost everyone was in the mess, poking fun at the Mess Sargent and laughing with one another. The Commander was in the middle of it all, tossing her vibrant red hair back as she laughed, sipping at some fizzy beverage in her hand. Garrus stood near her, mandibles rising and falling in laughter, eyeing Shepard with a flickering, mischievous gaze. Thane and Samara stood a ways back, smiling small smiles, both looking a little uncomfortable but also appearing to be having a good time. Jacob was talking to Legion about something or another, his deep brown eyes gulping up every word the Geth seemed to be saying. Tali was talking to Grunt oddly enough, she was holding a new shotgun like it was her baby and was showing it to the Krogan proudly. Jack was sitting at the mess table, gulping back what Miranda presumed to be some type of alcohol. Mordin was talking quickly to the Engineers, showing them something on his omni tool, both of the young engineers watching him intently.

Miranda took a deep breath, she knew this was ridiculous but she felt completely alienated from these people. Shepard was like a fire cracker, before meeting the Commander she never would have pinned her as a life of party type of girl. Taking a deep breath Miranda mentally decided she couldn't deal with this, she was much safer back inside her room, not talking to people. But before she could sneak back inside her room it seemed Shepard must have noticed her.

"Miranda!" She called out, careening over the heads of some of the crew, beaming widely.

Miranda froze, feeling everyone's attention slowly slip to her, eyes burning into her back. Miranda struggled to compose herself, straightening her spine she turned around, moulding her face into a mask of impassiveness.

"Yes Commander?" She asked coolly, not daring to let her eyes slip from Shepard's green ones to the shocked and surprised ones of the rest of the crew.

Shepard brushed past Garrus lightly, still smiling, grabbing a drink off the counter and walking over to her. Shepard held out the fizzy substance, green eyes twinkling.

"Drink?" She asked.

Miranda took the drink stiffly, holding the cup in her hand, lips glued together.

Shepard looked over her shoulder, smiling devilishly. "Told you she'd show up." At this she scoffed to herself, "can't believe you all doubted your Commander."

Miranda blinked blankly, cautiously allowing her eyes to slide over the crew. They all smiled at her gently, eyes almost knowing.

"You mean to tell me you knew I'd show up?" She whispered, hardly believing what she was hearing.

Shepard chuckled, taking a sip of her own drink and winking at her over the lip of her cup.

"Of course." She grinned, "I mean how could you _not _come out here and check what all the fuss was about? We didn't know how many plates we'd have to break to finally coax you out here."

Miranda's tongue went dry, her face heating up. She didn't know she appeared so translucent.

Shepard reached out and patted her on the shoulder, "come off it Miranda, you may try extremely hard to appear as Miss. Untouchable but I'm sure you're a real softy at heart."

Miranda stared at her incredulously.

Again Shepard smiled, "well, what do you say? I'm not sure about you but I think I can handle at least another six or so beers."

**Thanks, that's it for this chapter. Please review and fav and stuff like that.**

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**3 Suicidal **


	4. Jacob

**Hey people, here's my update for Fingertips. **

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_Jacob _

The first thing that Jacob noticed about the Commander was her shocking green eyes. Now he wasn't the kind of guy to gush about appearances and honestly they didn't matter that much to him but Shepard's eyes . . . _wow_. They were like spring leaves, flecked with gold and darker tints of green they crinkled mischievously at the corners, sharp and witty. The second thing that came to Jacob's mind when he thought about the Commander was how far out of his league she was. He never really bought into that kind of thing, _leagues _and all, but it was plainly obvious she was the embodiment of everything he wasn't capable of possessing. Okay, possessing wasn't a good word. It was more like he felt _if _she were to date him or _whatever _it would be a great disservice to her. It would be like caging a wild, powerful jaguar, watching it pace endless behind iron bars.

Maybe that was little extreme.

And it wasn't even like he had a crush on her or anything. Dear _god _he sounded like a fourteen year old boy! To put it bluntly he was so blown away by how amazing she is he couldn't help but _want _her.

Jacobs' hand jerked suddenly, knocking over his coffee; the brown steaming liquid pouring over the counter. Cursing at his own foolishness Jacob scrambled to wipe up the liquid with his forearm, successfully staining his clothing in the process.

After Jacob had mostly managed to wipe up the brown, sticky mess his brain wandered back to his previous train of thought; Shepard. Jacob was having an extremely hard time deciding how to put his _feelings _towards the Commander in words. _Dammit! Feelings?! _Now it sounded like he was proclaiming some mushy, heated love towards Shepard, which he _wasn't. _

No, Shepard was an incredible woman. Probably the most incredible woman he'd ever meet but what he felt toward her wasn't love. Jacob sighed, leaning against the work bench, crossing his arms over his chest.

Jacob wasn't sure why this mattered so much to him but it kind of felt like some oath that he had to cement, firmly telling himself that he should stop being as fickle as a pubescent girl. Jacob scoffed lightly to himself, eyes drifting toward the door leading out to the main deck. Shepard was probably out there, either that or in the mess.

_Damn _that woman could eat a lot.

Jacob's eyes drifted back to the work bench, brown eyes spotting a flash of pink. He smiled as he reached to pick up the card; it was Shepard Valentines Day card.

It had been Valentines day a few days ago and Shepard had made a big deal about it. Jacob thought it was kind of silly but Shepard had handed out every crew mate a small Valentines day card. They weren't hand made or anything extravagant, but each one had a different supremely cheesy pick up line on the front.

Jacob looked down at his, the gaudy pick letters read _Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night? _When he had first received it he almost swallowed his tongue, he had thought the Commander was coming on to him. But then she just smiled at him, winking devilishly, "I wonder what Jack's gonna think of hers. I'm expecting _quite_ the reaction." Then with that she walked out, humming cheerfully.

Jacob had stared after her for a long time, even after she was long gone; unable to speak. Finally he just let out a roaring laugh, doubling over and cackling crazily with himself.

It was completely mad, Commander Shepard had the ability to completely blindside anyone over and _over _again. She was brash and unexpected, funny and tender. Jacob opened the card, fingering the raised paper where Shepard had signed her name in rich blue ink.

_Rhia Shepard _

Such a pretty name.

"Jacob!"

Jacob's head snapped up, surprised, hand clenching onto his Valentine tighter.

Shepard stood in the door way, hands on her hips, grinning widely. "Gabby, Ken, Tali and I are playing some Skyllian Five. Wanna join?"

Jacob blinked at her for a second, mind blanking, then a small smile tugged across his lips.

"I hope you're prepared to lose." He taunted, walking over to her.

Shepard laughed, tossing her head back. "Ha ha, you obviously don't know me very well Jacob. I'm a _very _sore loser."

Jacob laughed back, the two of them heading out of the armoury and toward the elevator. "Yeah, I can definitely see that."

As the two stood companionably in the elevator, a peaceful buzz ringing in his ears it hit him. He didn't _want_ Shepard in the way a man wants a woman, he wanted her in the way a boy wants a hero. Bright and miraculous, like a dazzling star.

Jacob felt his skin heat up, sneaking a glance at Shepard he watched as her pink lips pulled back, revealing shiny teeth, her green eyes catching his. If it made him sound juvenile so be it, Shepard may be around his age but she was his hero.

In more ways than one.

**Done. Didn't like that one as much but meh. **

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**3 Suicidal **


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